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Cultural IdentityApril 3, 20233 min read

Finding Belonging When You're Between Cultures

Strategies for creating a sense of home and belonging when you don't fully fit into any single culture.

Finding Belonging When You're Between Cultures

"Where do I belong?" This question haunts many of us who exist between cultures. Not quite from here, not quite from there, we float in a liminal space that can feel both liberating and lonely.

The Perpetual Outsider

You know the feeling:
- Too traditional for progressive spaces
- Too progressive for traditional spaces
- Your accent/appearance/name marks you as "other"
- Constant code-switching leaves you exhausted
- Home is a concept, not a place

The Search for Your People

We often look for belonging in:
- Cultural communities that expect full adherence to tradition
- Mainstream spaces that require assimilation
- Online communities that understand parts but not all of you
- Family who loves you but doesn't fully understand your journey

And still, something feels missing.

Creating Your Own Belonging

#1. Internal Belonging
- Belong to yourself first
- Your identity is valid even if it's complex
- You don't need external validation to exist
- Your story doesn't need to fit neat categories

#2. Chosen Family
- Seek others in the in-between spaces
- Build community with fellow bridge-builders
- Create rituals with those who understand
- Form bonds beyond blood and borders

#3. Cultural Remixing
- Take what serves you from each culture
- Create new traditions that reflect your journey
- Your heritage is yours to interpret
- Innovation is also tradition

#4. Spaces of Belonging
- Create physical spaces that reflect all of you
- Decorate with items from multiple worlds
- Cook fusion food that tells your story
- Make your home a sanctuary for your whole self

The Third Culture

You're not lacking—you're abundant. You belong to a third culture:
- The culture of those who translate
- The culture of bridge-builders
- The culture of questioners and innovators
- The culture of those who see beyond borders

Finding Your Communities

Look for:
- Other adult children of immigrants
- Mixed cultural spaces
- Artist and creative communities
- Social justice spaces
- Online communities for third culture individuals

Redefining Home

Home can be:
- A feeling rather than a place
- Multiple locations simultaneously
- The people who see you fully
- The activities that ground you
- The values you carry everywhere

The Gift of Not Belonging

Not belonging everywhere means:
- Freedom to define yourself
- Ability to see systems others can't
- Empathy for other outsiders
- Innovation from mixing perspectives
- Strength from navigating complexity

Your lack of singular belonging is not a deficit—it's your superpower. You are the future: multicultural, adaptive, and beautifully complex.

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Marjan Modaresi

Marjan Modaresi, AMFT-Associate

Marjan is a first-generation Iranian therapist specializing in helping adult children of immigrants navigate cultural identity, family dynamics, and self-care. She combines evidence-based approaches with cultural sensitivity to support clients in their healing journey.

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